It's been a long day living with this...

Man, it certainly has been quite a while, hasn't it? To start things off: March will be awesome for my musical tastes. Sum41, Rise Against, Taking Back Sunday... it will be beautiful. Next up is Cage the Elephant's sophomore album, "Thank You, Happy Birthday" - it is AMAZING. Equally good as, if not better than, their self titled debut. I LOVE it. The new Sum41 song is amazing, too - Screaming Bloody Murder looks like it's gonna be a return to form - somewhere between "Does This Look Infected" and "Chuck," which is only good news for long-time fans of the band.

We (Taylor, Katie, Justin and I) have chosen a name - we are Up In the Gallery. We have a full original song done, and we're working on a slew of covers and a couple more originals; Red Crown is the one we have finished, and we're working on Rainfall, Burning Bridges and a few more I've just recently written lyrics to. After talking to Taylor, it's looking like we're gonna add "Shake me Down" by Cage the Elephant to our cover list, which now compromises "Helter Skelter" by the Beatles, "Doublespeak" by Thrice, and... I think that's it, actually. Hm. Either way, I am so incredibly stoked on it - the other three members of the band are extraordinarily musically talented, and I am super pumped to be making music with them. They are just... superb. There are not enough positive adjectives to describe these people.

I have recently learned that attraction is a confusing thing and pining for people is not confined to hallways and classrooms. Which kind of sucks, but hey, that's where I'm at. Not much to do about it, other than write music about it. Everyone loves a good unrequited feelings song.

I have made a shitton of new friends, but I am almost always alone in this house nowadays, which I fucking hate. I wish I owned a car, so I could go out and hang out with people and stuff. I have to rely on other people, now that Nick has moved out, and that fucking blows. I can't really describe how it feels - it is a weird fort of loneliness, because it's not complete loneliness, which almost makes it worse. It's more like isolation, I suppose. I don't really know what to do about it - we shall see where things go from here, I guess, because I don't have ANY idea as to what's going to happen.

19th birthday soon. That's pretty cool - I shall be a legal adult in the province of British Columbia. Weird to think about, honestly - I can do ANYTHING and go ANYWHERE and all that shit. Apparently I am being taken out for drinks on my birthday, which is pretty cool - I'm stoked for that. It will be a new experience, for sure. Though... February 3rd is a Thursday, so I might try to get the Saturday after it - the fifth? - off and do something then, because Thursday is kind of not as easy for people. Plus, mid-week and all that. Bah, again, we'll see.

Have you ever noticed that you are always better at giving advice than doing things yourself? I dunno, just something I've noticed. I have always considered myself relatively good at giving advice, and terrible at acting in situations where I need advice. I dunno. Just tired ramblings.

I am going to work on singing very loud and very honest from here on out - after listening to the new Sum41 and new Cage the Elephant, I have convinced myself that that's what's missing from my vocal performance. Just honest, raw emotion. I've always felt that that makes the best singers - truth.

Moving blows. Always has and always will. Still, new place has a hot tub - I just have to clean it out. Pretty stoked for that. Just worried that it's going to be a "we are family first and roommates second" relationship and not a "we are roommates first and family second" relationship - I NEED it to be the second one, or it's just not gonna work out.

Fear and doubt and worry and uncertainty and all that shit are a cancer, and, if that's true, then, right now, I am cancerous as fuck. Oh well - tomorrow, after work, I'm gonna go set up all the band equipment so we can jam. I'll see if anyone's free and if they want to help. If so, YEAH! If not, oh well. I'll get it done so we can play.

it has been a long time since I felt this way. A long fucking time. Like, "three years" a long time. It's refreshing and new and all that, but fuck me did I ever forget how much it kills. Like... seriously. I was always the kid that felt like this, so I was used to it, but then it went away for a long while. Now it's back and I didn't see it coming. I have been blindsided by myself. It's a weird feeling.

Anyways, fuck me am I ever tired, so I'm gonna hit the sack and then get up and go to the BEST JOB EEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRR. That was serious, too - I love my job. It is way too much fun. I just don't like working 8 hours, it feels far too long. I guess I'd better make this music shit work out, then, eh?

Next post (hopefully) - an acoustic version of Burning Bridges. That's right. AN ORIGINAL SONG. I hope that we figure out a full band version of it soon, but I'm not sure. Currently, we're working on covers and Rainfall in an attempt to bulk up our musical portfolio. It's typically good to be able to play songs, plural.

Anyways, I'm off - I leave you with this final thought. "Does he look like a bitch?" "NO!" "Then why are you trying to fuck him like one? Hm?" Awesome movie. Go Pulp Fiction.

Sleep well, everyone, and welcome back.

Welcome Home

I have returned! I'm going to attempt to update weekly from here on out - I'm not sure what day, yet (probably Wednesdays after practice), but I want to get back into updating. It has been a long time since I last posted - before I moved out, so at least three and a half months ago.

I have been writing music with Katie, Taylor and Justin, and it is a lot of fun. We actually sound really good, and it's awesome to play with them, especially considering I've never been in a band ever before. I really like it, and it makes me feel very good about myself.

We have been playing D&D weekly, and it, too, is a very good time - all the people there are a lot of fun to hang out with, and it's always funny and entertaining.

I have so much new music to share - the Arkells, Bon Iver, Ben Folds, etc. - but, for now, I'm just going to share some lyrics. Burning Bridges is complete - I wrote the guitar bit for it, and I'm going to bring it to practice next time we have it (Sunday? I think?). Katie and I started working on Rainfall, and she's really brought something to it - we have to work on it a little bit more, but, lyrically, it's pretty much finished. We have a general idea for how we want it to sound, musically, too, so that's in motion.

Katie and I brought an idea to the table about writing a song about the world if it was like a 1950's film noir movie, and Taylor came up with the idea of writing a few concept songs (as in they follow a narrative, like a concept album) about a detective in a 1950's film noir movie. Obviously, the songs are going to have meaning outside of that, but I think it's a really cool idea and I can't wait to work on it.

Justin and Taylor are coming over tonight to write (but not Katie, because she has a CONCERT. BOOOOOOOO.) and I can't wait to see where that goes.

Anyways, I'm off, so I'll leave you with the lyrics to Burning Bridges (which I am going to write from memory! Huzzah!) and the promise that we will put something up soon. We need a name, too. Anyways, see you all later.

It's 6:59 AM, so... sleep well for a few more hours? I guess? And then have a good day.

Burning Bridges

Leave your things

Dust will settle

Memories

Are left to rust

This is my island

Floating alone

Thin rope bridges

To all that I've known

I've been severing ties

Burning bridges

Burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I'll burn down a world

That nobody knows

That nobody knows

Everyone

Who used to live here

Fled their homes

To escape the blaze

Streets are bare

Things are haphazardly

Strewn across

The ashen roads

It has been

A full two years

Since it last rained

My kindling's dry

I've been severing ties

Burning bridges

Burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I'll burn down a world

That nobody knows

That nobody knows

Everything

Is ripe and succulent

All I need is

An open flame

Smoke pours from

Abandoned buildings

Suffocates until

Nothing remains

Tired

I came up with a story idea, inspired by Final Fantasy (just kind of in general - elements from all of them got to me). Let me know what you think, yeah? It's about this girl and a mercenary army (like SeeD, for those of you who know what I'm talking about) who suddenly stops being able to sleep, and starts having to take these... I dunno what you'd call them... genetic supplements that replicate the effects of REM sleep to a degree - enough to keep her alive, but not enough to stave off the side effects of, you know... not sleeping. She'll hallucinate and stuff and have slow reaction time and the theme will be what you see through her eyes and whether it's real, or a delusion created by her sleepless mind. I'm excited to get planning it - what do you all think?

I finished The Lovely Bones a couple days ago, and good God, was it ever impressive. There are a lot of opposing views on it, from what I've heard, but you can firmly plant me in the "THIS BOOK IS AWESOME" camp.

I've finished the lyrics for Burning Bridges, Au Revoir (the song I wrote about our directing class) and A Flawed Design, and started a song called Twenty-Twenty Hindsight. I'll post the lyrics in a separate post, as usual.

My back crunches. It really can't be healthy. I lean forward or shift my arm and shoulder forward, and it crunches so loud that other people can hear it; it rocks my body enough that it feels like I'm tearing my right shoulder blade right off. It doesn't hurt, but I can definitely feel it... I feel like I should maybe be worried about that. Again, let me know what you good folks reckon about it - I dunno what to do, yet.

I think I could live in my room, if I moved a fridge in here. I mean, it's only two rooms, but those would serve as bedroom/kitchen/living room/dining room/etc. and bathroom - I really don't see why you get people complaining about small quarters. I think it's due to the fact that they grew up in a way that they got used to larger spaces, but that still doesn't fill all the plot holes, because I grew up in average sized houses, too, and I almost prefer smaller spaces.

I've never understood the fascination with houses, while I'm on that - what's wrong with apartments? What's wrong with renting? I really like my apartment, and don't see the problem with sharing a building, really. Bah, whatever, I don't think I'll ever understand.

Sleep well.

Lyrics II: Lyrics Harder (Die Hard Reference. Sorry)

Here you go, some new stuff for you. Let me know what you think, you guys. Don't be scared, now. Nothing's finished, yet, unless indicated otherwise.

The Silver Lining

I say my piece, but nobody is listening

They've all got their own demons to face

But I've got time to be there, attending

To everybody else in this place

I carried everyone on my shoulders

I’ve been standing strong and stout

But taking on their burdens has made me old

And my back has finally given out

That’s where you’ll find me

Completely unread

At the base of the hanging tree

With a shell in my head

The gun’s freshly smoking

It’s begun to rain

The silver lining

I’ll never hurt again

One last request

Throw my ash in the sea

The silver lining

Is it means something to me

Digging My Own Grave

Shovel into the flesh of the earth

We make mistakes, but we don’t learn

The hole gets deeper, I’m the first to return

& wait for our rebirth

Man’s become a monster, a sin

Everyone’s blood is on everyone’s hands

We have become, in foreign lands,

An abomination

Situation is dire, we can’t be saved

So I’m in the desert, a prelude to all

Ready to lead us into the fall

Digging my own grave

Burning Bridges

Leave your things

Dust will settle

Memories

Are left to rust

This is my island

Floating alone

Thin rope bridges

To all that I’ve known

Severing ties

Burning bridges

I’m burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I’ll burn down a world

That nobody knows

Everyone

That used to live here

Fled their homes

To escape the blaze

Streets are bare

Things are haphazardly

Strewn across

The ashen roads

It has been

A full two years

Since it last rained

My kindling’s dry

Severing ties

Burning bridges

I’m burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I’ll burn down a world

That nobody knows

Everything

Is ripe and succulent

All I need

Is a match

These last two are just MORE complete versions - they're still not done yet.

Sleep well.

Of transcendental meditation and other stuff...

I was watching an interview with Alkaline Trio, and Matt Skiba said that he recently started doing something called transcendental meditation. He said that it made him very calm and relaxed and stuff, but he also brought up an interesting point: he said that, before this new form of meditation, he thought that being in a negative frame of mind was extremely good for the creative process. Now that he had started meditating and relaxing and letting go of his anger and frustration, however, he says that he believes the opposite to be true.

I, personally, think that negative emotions translate well to the creative process, and I would go so far as to say that all of my lyrics are living proof of that, but I'm curious - what do you guys think?

In other news, I just started the music for Burning Bridges, and it's mostly a piano song. Once I get someone who is actually... you know... good at piano, I might jazz it up a bit, per se, but I'm liking it, so far. Simplicity, piano wise, but a bit complex with the guitar. Just some overdriven guitar over the piano, but it's very solo-like. Kinda jazzy. It's cool, I'll post it later on.

That's all I have to say, tonight - I'm fucking depressed.

Sleep well.

Lyrics! How exciting!

I reckon I'll start off with some of my newest stuff, because I'm into it more than my old stuff, right now. It is, for the most part, unfinished and still in progress, and I only have a rough idea for what I want to do with it, musically, but still, let me know what you think of it.

A Flawed Design

Took blueprints at face value

You didn't look to see

If the calculations were off at all

If there was something wrong with me

You thought the plans were sound

You didn't take the time

But now that you're looking into this

You won't like what you find

This is a structural weakness

This is a flawed design

This is a crack in the surface

It'll all fall down with time

All you saw was a strong foundation

But all is not as it seems

I've got my share of skeletons down in the basement

& they're ruining the support beams

Burning Bridges

Leave your things

Dust will settle

Memories

Are left to rust

This is my island

Floating alone

Thin rope bridges

To all that I've known

Severing ties

Burning bridges

I'm burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I'll burn down a world

That nobody knows

Digging My Own Grave

Shovel into the flesh of the earth

We make mistakes, but we don't learn

The hole gets deeper, I'm the first to return

& wait for our rebirth

Rainfall

You try to stop the forward motion

Cause I'm standing on the ledge

& I stare out at the ocean

As you push me off the edge

The crowds watch in horror as

I teeter on the brink

The guilt around my manacles

Ensures that I will sink

Drip, Drop, the rain falls

& so do I

Please don't try to save me from

The deep ocean's mighty teeth

I'm taking solace in

All of the jagged rocks beneath

The Violent Storm

Put my back to the wall

& see how tall

I've become

See what I'm capable of

What I've already done

If you give me no choice

I'll never play nice

Again

I'll do what I have to to win

I didn't make this begin

But the winds of change are blowing

& it's quite a violent storm

It's been tearing at me for a very long time

& I can't take it anymore

Anyways, comments would be very much appreciated. let me know what you think, yeah?