I want to be Dan Andriano when I grow up.

The dude rocks a bass like a beast - better than I've ever seen anyone, ever, actually - and he sings like a siren at the same time. If I can ever do that, I will be satisfied. The man is a god among musicians, and meeting him would make me one happy motherfucker, to put it bluntly. Music is awesome, and so is he.

In other news, The White Stripes are pretty freaking awesome, too. It's like listening to liquid gold. Icky Thump is a particular favourite.

I have gotten a few songs finished, and recording will take place as soon as my family gets the hell out of my house and gives me some silence.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Sleep well.

Lyrics: Once More, With Feeling!

I really want to use that line - "once more, with feeling" - in a song, at some point. I love that line. Anyways, this is just a lyric dump, just stuff that I have written music for and should hopefully be up for you to listen to pretty quick.

First off, this is the song that I wrote for my play, "A Sight Unseen:" Gabe uses it to try to snap Gavin out of his episode. It's actually named after an awesome song by Rise Against - the play, not the song. It's not just about the play - this song is about my own personal experience, too, I just moulded it to the play a bit.

So Imperfect

Like a storm of razor thoughts

No one can repay this debt

And the bastard talks a lot

You see, he made me do it

Sickness lives inside my skull

Floor to ceiling, wall to wall

Just another defect

A thousand television sets

Playing static in my head

I'm so imperfect

Like the Backwards Music Station

He sounds just like Hell

Try for silence with sedation

But nothing works that well

He shows what I don't want to know

Visions of what I despise

He hacks at me ever so

Because I know they aren't just lies

Sickness lives inside my skull

Floor to ceiling, wall to wall

Just another defect

A thousand television sets

Playing static in my head

I'm so imperfect

I would do

Anything to fix this

I would give

Anything to clean my head

Another

Swing & a miss

Everything

Inside of me is being misread

All I want is quiet

Synapses gone mad

My cells are all on riot

Ignoring the perfect plan

Sickness lives inside my skull

Floor to ceiling, wall to wall

Just another defect

A thousand television sets

Playing static in my head

I'm so imperfect

I'm so imperfect

I'm so imperfect

This one's the one I wrote about directing class - I've started on the music, but I have to find it again. The title's not fully capitalized because French folks don't love capital letters like we do.

Au revoir

In the basement of that place

Beyond that cellar door

You sat and you epitomized

What I was starving for

I stepped in a little late

Was off by months & years

Reason wasn't grasping me

So I ended up there

It's over now, but it was fun

So au revoir & goodbye

I guess maybe I'll see you again

Somewhere, sometime

It was something I was searching for

But never thought I'd find

It was just what I was hoping for

We shared a common mind

Where words gave way to feelings

Where I felt I could feel safe

One of two I could be myself

I took solace in this place

It's over now, but it was fun

So au revoir & goodbye

I guess maybe I'll see you again

Somewhere, sometime

And now it all is sadly gone

Yes, all good things must end

But someday, down this muted road

I'll see you again, my friend

This is the song that Jade and I performed, for those of you that were there.

Awful Lovers

I know what's hiding inside you

I've taken all I can take

I know you're insecure, yeah

I know you're just another fake

You two made awful lovers

& we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face again

I guess you've already

Forgotten all I did for you

With the way everything has gone

There's only one thing I can do

I can't help you anymore

I've left you dying in the snow

I'm moving on from your fatal flaw

There's just nowhere else to go

You two made awful lovers

& we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face again

Your light switch romance

Was as poisonous as you say

Tried to pull you from addiction

But you sent me on my way

I wish I could tell you

That we'll be fine again someday

But I'm not one to lie

I'm better off this way

You two made awful lovers

And we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face again

You two made awful lovers

And we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face

I hope I never see your face

... again

All three of these songs have music written, I just have to finish the music up and then record it and you all can tell me what you think.

Tired

I came up with a story idea, inspired by Final Fantasy (just kind of in general - elements from all of them got to me). Let me know what you think, yeah? It's about this girl and a mercenary army (like SeeD, for those of you who know what I'm talking about) who suddenly stops being able to sleep, and starts having to take these... I dunno what you'd call them... genetic supplements that replicate the effects of REM sleep to a degree - enough to keep her alive, but not enough to stave off the side effects of, you know... not sleeping. She'll hallucinate and stuff and have slow reaction time and the theme will be what you see through her eyes and whether it's real, or a delusion created by her sleepless mind. I'm excited to get planning it - what do you all think?

I finished The Lovely Bones a couple days ago, and good God, was it ever impressive. There are a lot of opposing views on it, from what I've heard, but you can firmly plant me in the "THIS BOOK IS AWESOME" camp.

I've finished the lyrics for Burning Bridges, Au Revoir (the song I wrote about our directing class) and A Flawed Design, and started a song called Twenty-Twenty Hindsight. I'll post the lyrics in a separate post, as usual.

My back crunches. It really can't be healthy. I lean forward or shift my arm and shoulder forward, and it crunches so loud that other people can hear it; it rocks my body enough that it feels like I'm tearing my right shoulder blade right off. It doesn't hurt, but I can definitely feel it... I feel like I should maybe be worried about that. Again, let me know what you good folks reckon about it - I dunno what to do, yet.

I think I could live in my room, if I moved a fridge in here. I mean, it's only two rooms, but those would serve as bedroom/kitchen/living room/dining room/etc. and bathroom - I really don't see why you get people complaining about small quarters. I think it's due to the fact that they grew up in a way that they got used to larger spaces, but that still doesn't fill all the plot holes, because I grew up in average sized houses, too, and I almost prefer smaller spaces.

I've never understood the fascination with houses, while I'm on that - what's wrong with apartments? What's wrong with renting? I really like my apartment, and don't see the problem with sharing a building, really. Bah, whatever, I don't think I'll ever understand.

Sleep well.

How far would you go to save someone you love?/How can people act the way they do?

That's the question that Heavy Rain asks you. The game is not so much a game, but more an interactive film, I would say, and it relies completely on the idea of choices: everything you do is fallible. Anything can go wrong. Any or all of the four playable characters can die. And the game will not coddle you and go, "it's okay, just load your last save;" that character is dead and gone, and the story carries on without him or her. It is the single darkest game ever, and it is brilliant - it could be a movie, but the choice it forces you to make are much more intriguing. I like to think that, in the position of the characters, I would do the right thing, but it's hard to know for certain, especially with some of the shit they throw at you.

Furthermore, you BECOME your characters. For example, at the very start of the game, you wake up as Ethan Mars, father of two. Your wife is out with the kids, and you have to get ready for the day. You have to shower. You have to shave. You have to brush your teeth. You actively do these things, by moving the controller or the right stick. You are not thrust into the characters - you are introduced to them at their core, as real people. You empathize. You hope. You fear. You feel.

The whole game (which revolves around a slow-moving, noir murder mystery) doesn't try to make you feel for these characters - you just do, because they are so real. This is the way games should be. This is the future of the medium. Feelings, not just interaction. Bravo, David Cage; you took a risk, and it paid off, completely.

In other news, I got the newest Muse album, The Resistance - I'd never given them a shot, before, but I've found that I really like them. I also got the Heavy Rain Original Soundtrack and the Final Fantasy XIII Original Soundtrack, but I've yet to listen to them (other than in-game, for Heavy Rain, of course).

Why are people cruel? How can people treat each other the way they do? Seriously? How can people be so... selfish, so greedy, so... wrong? Is that the way people are supposed to be? Are we the exception, not the rule? I feel like it, sometimes. People deceive, they lie, they put on fake fucking masks to look all pretty and perfect in front of others, just so we won't see their flaws. Their mistakes. Their inner truths. How can someone be so horrible to you at one point, but act perfect and kind and polite and good just because someone they want to respect them is around? Why aren't people honest with me? Why aren't they honest with you, all of you? Why aren't they honest with themselves? Why are people so dark and so mean and so... cruel is the only word that comes to mind. I don't understand people. Most of the time, I would give damn near anything to get why people do what they do, so I could solve problems and save people and do what's right. The rest of the time, I don't want to know at all, because I'm afraid I'll fall into them and their ways. After all, like Friedrich Nietzsche said: "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

Sleep well.

Holy shit, that was a lot of people.

So, earlier tonight, we had the choir concert. It went awesome, (or so I think - hope you feel better soon, OB!) and I really enjoyed myself. While we there, though, I realised that I'm really starting to regret not participating in all this school wide stuff more when I was younger - specifically drama and choir - and it's really nagging at my conscience. I am genuinely sad that I did not have the foresight to get into those programs while I could because, now, the chance is gone. It's over. I fucked that one up completely, and now I have no way to rectify it. Chance = blown. It is disheartening. same with the Music Marathon - I thought I had an opportunity to be in it at 4:00 PM, and started planning what I was going to play, but Jake got to it first (Damn you and your swiftness, I say!). There're no hard feelings from me, fair is fair, but I just really regret not getting a chance to get out there and do things while I can. I'm going to tell every Grade 8 I can that I regret not doing these things, and that there is no happy, flowery ending on it - I missed out, big time. Do it now, while you can. Otherwise, you end up feeling like you have a great big hole in the pit of your stomach because you lost that golden opportunity.

I also realised that the Performing Arts Centre is big. Like... damned big. It is huge. And Carol-Ann & I have to go out there, all alone, with something we've made. That shit is easily the most intimidating and daunting thing I think I will ever face, and that worries me greatly. I'm sure we can do it, but that is a LOT of people and a LOT of pressure. We will have to work our asses off to get it down.

I was going to play a couple acoustic Alkaline Trio songs, an acoustic Anberlin song and a couple of my own at the Music Marathon, in case you were wondering, after seeing that up there. I was going to play Sorry About That (Live acoustic version in link) and Blue In the Face by Alkaline Trio, The Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin and Torn (Raise Your Glass) and possibly Sunburns (working title - any suggestions once I get it up on here would be well appreciated) by myself. Both of the songs I wrote are capoed weird, now that I think about it - I guess I like my acoustic songs to be odd sounding. They're both sad sounding, but not overly so - they're more quiet than sad, I guess. Anyways, I'll post the lyrics up in another post in a bit, when the lyrics to Sunburns is complete. I'm starting to come around to the title, now that I've written it once or twice, though I would still like suggestions on what you think once the lyrics up.

That's all for tonight, though - I am off to sleep, for the adrenaline rush from the concert mixed with the excitement from having written the PERFECT guitar bits for Sunburns have made me a happy but tired camper. Good night, everyone.

Sleep well.

P.S: I just put labels on this post, and one of them is "Sincere & Lasting Regrets." That sounds like a wicked album title, doesn't it? Let me know what you think.