Girl, you know I hardly speak, and when I do it's just for you.

So I've made a discovery. Conditioner is addictive. Like, hair conditioner, yes. I didn't have it for two days and I thought I was going to go totally fucking crazy; my hair was like straw. I feel like a moron for being suckered into buying more when I'm on a budget, but, hey, whatever - feed the need, I suppose.

I went to Value Village's 50% off day, and I got a pair of super nice coats for really cheap - now I just need to buy myself a new watch and I'm set.

Bought the new watch. It's slightly too big, just need to have some links taken out of it and I'm good to go. I've been working on a bunch more lyrics, but I am tired - it's been a stressful fucking day. For now, make due with this song - it's tentatively titled "Turtle Mountain." Katie, Taylor, Justin and I all wrote the lyrics together. Enjoy, and sleep well.

Turtle Mountain

We stood at the base

As the sun went down

So far away from

The city sounds

The fog crept from the lake

And the twisted roads wound higher

Passing houses as empty as the streets

Welcome Home

I have returned! I'm going to attempt to update weekly from here on out - I'm not sure what day, yet (probably Wednesdays after practice), but I want to get back into updating. It has been a long time since I last posted - before I moved out, so at least three and a half months ago.

I have been writing music with Katie, Taylor and Justin, and it is a lot of fun. We actually sound really good, and it's awesome to play with them, especially considering I've never been in a band ever before. I really like it, and it makes me feel very good about myself.

We have been playing D&D weekly, and it, too, is a very good time - all the people there are a lot of fun to hang out with, and it's always funny and entertaining.

I have so much new music to share - the Arkells, Bon Iver, Ben Folds, etc. - but, for now, I'm just going to share some lyrics. Burning Bridges is complete - I wrote the guitar bit for it, and I'm going to bring it to practice next time we have it (Sunday? I think?). Katie and I started working on Rainfall, and she's really brought something to it - we have to work on it a little bit more, but, lyrically, it's pretty much finished. We have a general idea for how we want it to sound, musically, too, so that's in motion.

Katie and I brought an idea to the table about writing a song about the world if it was like a 1950's film noir movie, and Taylor came up with the idea of writing a few concept songs (as in they follow a narrative, like a concept album) about a detective in a 1950's film noir movie. Obviously, the songs are going to have meaning outside of that, but I think it's a really cool idea and I can't wait to work on it.

Justin and Taylor are coming over tonight to write (but not Katie, because she has a CONCERT. BOOOOOOOO.) and I can't wait to see where that goes.

Anyways, I'm off, so I'll leave you with the lyrics to Burning Bridges (which I am going to write from memory! Huzzah!) and the promise that we will put something up soon. We need a name, too. Anyways, see you all later.

It's 6:59 AM, so... sleep well for a few more hours? I guess? And then have a good day.

Burning Bridges

Leave your things

Dust will settle

Memories

Are left to rust

This is my island

Floating alone

Thin rope bridges

To all that I've known

I've been severing ties

Burning bridges

Burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I'll burn down a world

That nobody knows

That nobody knows

Everyone

Who used to live here

Fled their homes

To escape the blaze

Streets are bare

Things are haphazardly

Strewn across

The ashen roads

It has been

A full two years

Since it last rained

My kindling's dry

I've been severing ties

Burning bridges

Burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I'll burn down a world

That nobody knows

That nobody knows

Everything

Is ripe and succulent

All I need is

An open flame

Smoke pours from

Abandoned buildings

Suffocates until

Nothing remains

Who do you carry the torch for, my young man? Do you believe in anything? Do you carry it around just to burn things down?

That is an AWESOME song, by the way: "The Archers Strings Have Broken" by Brand New. Another sublime song for you to listen to is "Brothers on a Hotel Bed" by Death Cab for Cutie. That's good stuff, right there.

I haven't posted lyrics up here for a while because A) Dylan and I are trying to find a place, and it's proving rather time consuming, B) My mum is super bi-polar, and won't make up her mind about how she feels about me and C) I've been transferring all of the lyrics into their own, individual word files, so that I'll have quick and easy access to them.

Life is very up and down right now, and I'm not sure how I feel all the time - like I was telling Dylan and Monique last night, I feel like maybe I have some kind of undiagnosed mental condition. It's weird. Anyways, not important, right now - I am peaceful. I was gonna get Dylan to teach me to meditate properly, when we move in, to hopefully help me with this problem.

In other news, my nails are black. I think I like it. It's not something you really see a lot of on guys, anymore, and I personally think it looks kind of cool, especially when playing guitar.

To make up for my lack of updating, here's a poem. Enjoy.

From the Womb (Open Air)

I feel as though I am still in the womb

where it is warm

and orange

and sterile

and safe.

I feel like I am going to the edge and

it is still at my back

sticking to me

clinging to me by thin, powerful tendrils

keeping me around.

I do not want that.

I dislike the orange and the red and the black and I very much dislike the dark and the warmth, especially here, where I feel so very alone.

I want to be out

where it is green

and dangerous

and unpredictable

and real

and I can breathe

and I could be devoured at any moment.

I would savour that.

I want to be where it is green and blue and grey and where there is always some kind of light, no matter how dim.

At least some light.

Goddamn regular updates

Seriously, I don't know how webcomic artists and stuff manage to not only write and draw a comic every week (sometimes three times a week) and do it on a set day. It's madness. I mean, shit, this is just a blog of my thoughts, and I have trouble with it.

ANYWAYS, I am just about to go to bed, but I came on to promise a lyric dump to anyone reading. It shall show up tomorrow.

Sleep well.

In Memoriam

So I fell off of the "update frequently" wagon. Sue me. Shit's been going on.

First off, OB, I am SO sorry about missing choir over and over - I have so much going on, what with the Grad Historian video and the crazy mum and the dead uncle and such that after school automatically equals "go rest" for me, so I tend to go a bit stupid at 3:00. I PROMISE I will be there next week.

Today, I found out that the Talking Donkey has an Open Mic Night on Wednesdays, so I think I'm gonna have to go check that out soon, once I get some stuff completely done. OH, and they have an UPSTAIRS! I didn't know that! It was so cool! Thanks, Dylan, I literally never would have noticed had you not gone up there.

Speaking of music, I've been coming up with a lot of lines that I really like but have been having trouble finishing a lot of songs. For example, a couple days ago, I wrote this line: "Cannon mouth and dagger tongue/Lashing out at everyone." I LOVE that line, but I have nowhere to put it and can't seem to add to it. I am sad.

My mum has been, as usual, the most bipolar person ever. She freaks out on me for little things, then acts like nothing ever happened the next day. I don't even know what to think about it anymore. Hard to care about it, to be honest; I just want to move out and live, goddamn it.

I was bored in French class, so I started drawing robots, and it kind of evolved into a story idea based on one of David's awesome drawings. I'll talk about it later, when it's more fleshed out.

Finally, yeah... my awesome deaf uncle died. He was great. I miss him a lot... hopefully he's somewhere where he can hear, now. I think he would have liked that.

Mark Bransford. I miss you.

RECORDING: INITIATED. UPLOADING... UPLOAD COMPLETE.

I have officially finished my first good cover (good in that I actually like my voice for once, your opinion about it is entirely subjective)! I am emboldened by this success, and am going to move on to my own stuff (though I've got to figure out how to do non-acoustic songs - until then, they shall all be acoustic). This one is one of my very favourite songs EVER, The Navesink Banks; it's a cover of a song by The Gaslight Anthem. Here's the link for download. I might put it up on Youtube in a bit, I dunno. Haven't decided yet.

Anyways, let me know what you think - I would REALLY appreciate comments.

Sleep well.

1 - The Car Crash

Really quick, before I post it, I know it's small, but it is a writing exercise. The point of these is to just write what comes out without stopping for any more than five minutes (excluding, of course, bathroom breaks and stuff). I want to develop my writing, and this is the best way to do it, I think. So, here you are.

Somehow, when the car struck us, I lived. I didn’t expect to; after all, I was the one sitting closest to the impact point. Still, amazingly enough, despite the complete destruction of the front right side of the sedan, I survived, though I wasn't uninjured by any means.

I suffered three broken ribs, a punctured lung, a broken radius bone (that would be the forearm, for those of you not in the know), a broken nose and a severe concussion; it was so bad, I was in the hospital for three weeks straight (first in the ER, then the Intensive Care Unit, then in Paediatrics, then in the Psych Ward. I knew that hospital like the back of my hand.). I couldn’t remember my name, my address, my hair colour, my parents… nothing. Everything had left me, but it was all there at the same time. Everyone came to visit, telling me that they hoped that I’d get better and that they believed in me. They all came and told me that they cared, and I had no idea who they were. Still, they came, so I figured that they really did care about me. I was wrong. In two weeks, the only people who visited me consistently were the nurses and the doctors.

The people who came to see me lied to me. They didn’t care, and the only reason I could see that was because I had no idea who they were. I couldn’t rationalize with, “oh, well, they’re busy this week” or “he’s got a really busy job” or anything like that, so I didn’t – I just looked at the facts and came to the conclusion that these people didn’t care.

On the fourteenth day, my memory returned to me. I didn’t want to have survived. I still had my memories from when I had no memories, and I realised that no one really did care. I wanted to go back to my happy, blind delusions. I was angry, too; why hadn’t you come to see me? Why weren’t you there? After a few hours, my anger subsided into contemplation. Maybe you’d been injured in the crash, too? Maybe you were bed-ridden?

Somehow, when the car struck us, I lived. You didn’t.

I want to be Dan Andriano when I grow up.

The dude rocks a bass like a beast - better than I've ever seen anyone, ever, actually - and he sings like a siren at the same time. If I can ever do that, I will be satisfied. The man is a god among musicians, and meeting him would make me one happy motherfucker, to put it bluntly. Music is awesome, and so is he.

In other news, The White Stripes are pretty freaking awesome, too. It's like listening to liquid gold. Icky Thump is a particular favourite.

I have gotten a few songs finished, and recording will take place as soon as my family gets the hell out of my house and gives me some silence.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Sleep well.

Lyrics: Once More, With Feeling!

I really want to use that line - "once more, with feeling" - in a song, at some point. I love that line. Anyways, this is just a lyric dump, just stuff that I have written music for and should hopefully be up for you to listen to pretty quick.

First off, this is the song that I wrote for my play, "A Sight Unseen:" Gabe uses it to try to snap Gavin out of his episode. It's actually named after an awesome song by Rise Against - the play, not the song. It's not just about the play - this song is about my own personal experience, too, I just moulded it to the play a bit.

So Imperfect

Like a storm of razor thoughts

No one can repay this debt

And the bastard talks a lot

You see, he made me do it

Sickness lives inside my skull

Floor to ceiling, wall to wall

Just another defect

A thousand television sets

Playing static in my head

I'm so imperfect

Like the Backwards Music Station

He sounds just like Hell

Try for silence with sedation

But nothing works that well

He shows what I don't want to know

Visions of what I despise

He hacks at me ever so

Because I know they aren't just lies

Sickness lives inside my skull

Floor to ceiling, wall to wall

Just another defect

A thousand television sets

Playing static in my head

I'm so imperfect

I would do

Anything to fix this

I would give

Anything to clean my head

Another

Swing & a miss

Everything

Inside of me is being misread

All I want is quiet

Synapses gone mad

My cells are all on riot

Ignoring the perfect plan

Sickness lives inside my skull

Floor to ceiling, wall to wall

Just another defect

A thousand television sets

Playing static in my head

I'm so imperfect

I'm so imperfect

I'm so imperfect

This one's the one I wrote about directing class - I've started on the music, but I have to find it again. The title's not fully capitalized because French folks don't love capital letters like we do.

Au revoir

In the basement of that place

Beyond that cellar door

You sat and you epitomized

What I was starving for

I stepped in a little late

Was off by months & years

Reason wasn't grasping me

So I ended up there

It's over now, but it was fun

So au revoir & goodbye

I guess maybe I'll see you again

Somewhere, sometime

It was something I was searching for

But never thought I'd find

It was just what I was hoping for

We shared a common mind

Where words gave way to feelings

Where I felt I could feel safe

One of two I could be myself

I took solace in this place

It's over now, but it was fun

So au revoir & goodbye

I guess maybe I'll see you again

Somewhere, sometime

And now it all is sadly gone

Yes, all good things must end

But someday, down this muted road

I'll see you again, my friend

This is the song that Jade and I performed, for those of you that were there.

Awful Lovers

I know what's hiding inside you

I've taken all I can take

I know you're insecure, yeah

I know you're just another fake

You two made awful lovers

& we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face again

I guess you've already

Forgotten all I did for you

With the way everything has gone

There's only one thing I can do

I can't help you anymore

I've left you dying in the snow

I'm moving on from your fatal flaw

There's just nowhere else to go

You two made awful lovers

& we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face again

Your light switch romance

Was as poisonous as you say

Tried to pull you from addiction

But you sent me on my way

I wish I could tell you

That we'll be fine again someday

But I'm not one to lie

I'm better off this way

You two made awful lovers

And we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face again

You two made awful lovers

And we made even worse friends

I had your back, but then you stabbed mine

I hope I never see your face

I hope I never see your face

... again

All three of these songs have music written, I just have to finish the music up and then record it and you all can tell me what you think.

Tired

I came up with a story idea, inspired by Final Fantasy (just kind of in general - elements from all of them got to me). Let me know what you think, yeah? It's about this girl and a mercenary army (like SeeD, for those of you who know what I'm talking about) who suddenly stops being able to sleep, and starts having to take these... I dunno what you'd call them... genetic supplements that replicate the effects of REM sleep to a degree - enough to keep her alive, but not enough to stave off the side effects of, you know... not sleeping. She'll hallucinate and stuff and have slow reaction time and the theme will be what you see through her eyes and whether it's real, or a delusion created by her sleepless mind. I'm excited to get planning it - what do you all think?

I finished The Lovely Bones a couple days ago, and good God, was it ever impressive. There are a lot of opposing views on it, from what I've heard, but you can firmly plant me in the "THIS BOOK IS AWESOME" camp.

I've finished the lyrics for Burning Bridges, Au Revoir (the song I wrote about our directing class) and A Flawed Design, and started a song called Twenty-Twenty Hindsight. I'll post the lyrics in a separate post, as usual.

My back crunches. It really can't be healthy. I lean forward or shift my arm and shoulder forward, and it crunches so loud that other people can hear it; it rocks my body enough that it feels like I'm tearing my right shoulder blade right off. It doesn't hurt, but I can definitely feel it... I feel like I should maybe be worried about that. Again, let me know what you good folks reckon about it - I dunno what to do, yet.

I think I could live in my room, if I moved a fridge in here. I mean, it's only two rooms, but those would serve as bedroom/kitchen/living room/dining room/etc. and bathroom - I really don't see why you get people complaining about small quarters. I think it's due to the fact that they grew up in a way that they got used to larger spaces, but that still doesn't fill all the plot holes, because I grew up in average sized houses, too, and I almost prefer smaller spaces.

I've never understood the fascination with houses, while I'm on that - what's wrong with apartments? What's wrong with renting? I really like my apartment, and don't see the problem with sharing a building, really. Bah, whatever, I don't think I'll ever understand.

Sleep well.

How far would you go to save someone you love?/How can people act the way they do?

That's the question that Heavy Rain asks you. The game is not so much a game, but more an interactive film, I would say, and it relies completely on the idea of choices: everything you do is fallible. Anything can go wrong. Any or all of the four playable characters can die. And the game will not coddle you and go, "it's okay, just load your last save;" that character is dead and gone, and the story carries on without him or her. It is the single darkest game ever, and it is brilliant - it could be a movie, but the choice it forces you to make are much more intriguing. I like to think that, in the position of the characters, I would do the right thing, but it's hard to know for certain, especially with some of the shit they throw at you.

Furthermore, you BECOME your characters. For example, at the very start of the game, you wake up as Ethan Mars, father of two. Your wife is out with the kids, and you have to get ready for the day. You have to shower. You have to shave. You have to brush your teeth. You actively do these things, by moving the controller or the right stick. You are not thrust into the characters - you are introduced to them at their core, as real people. You empathize. You hope. You fear. You feel.

The whole game (which revolves around a slow-moving, noir murder mystery) doesn't try to make you feel for these characters - you just do, because they are so real. This is the way games should be. This is the future of the medium. Feelings, not just interaction. Bravo, David Cage; you took a risk, and it paid off, completely.

In other news, I got the newest Muse album, The Resistance - I'd never given them a shot, before, but I've found that I really like them. I also got the Heavy Rain Original Soundtrack and the Final Fantasy XIII Original Soundtrack, but I've yet to listen to them (other than in-game, for Heavy Rain, of course).

Why are people cruel? How can people treat each other the way they do? Seriously? How can people be so... selfish, so greedy, so... wrong? Is that the way people are supposed to be? Are we the exception, not the rule? I feel like it, sometimes. People deceive, they lie, they put on fake fucking masks to look all pretty and perfect in front of others, just so we won't see their flaws. Their mistakes. Their inner truths. How can someone be so horrible to you at one point, but act perfect and kind and polite and good just because someone they want to respect them is around? Why aren't people honest with me? Why aren't they honest with you, all of you? Why aren't they honest with themselves? Why are people so dark and so mean and so... cruel is the only word that comes to mind. I don't understand people. Most of the time, I would give damn near anything to get why people do what they do, so I could solve problems and save people and do what's right. The rest of the time, I don't want to know at all, because I'm afraid I'll fall into them and their ways. After all, like Friedrich Nietzsche said: "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

Sleep well.

Holy shit, that was a lot of people.

So, earlier tonight, we had the choir concert. It went awesome, (or so I think - hope you feel better soon, OB!) and I really enjoyed myself. While we there, though, I realised that I'm really starting to regret not participating in all this school wide stuff more when I was younger - specifically drama and choir - and it's really nagging at my conscience. I am genuinely sad that I did not have the foresight to get into those programs while I could because, now, the chance is gone. It's over. I fucked that one up completely, and now I have no way to rectify it. Chance = blown. It is disheartening. same with the Music Marathon - I thought I had an opportunity to be in it at 4:00 PM, and started planning what I was going to play, but Jake got to it first (Damn you and your swiftness, I say!). There're no hard feelings from me, fair is fair, but I just really regret not getting a chance to get out there and do things while I can. I'm going to tell every Grade 8 I can that I regret not doing these things, and that there is no happy, flowery ending on it - I missed out, big time. Do it now, while you can. Otherwise, you end up feeling like you have a great big hole in the pit of your stomach because you lost that golden opportunity.

I also realised that the Performing Arts Centre is big. Like... damned big. It is huge. And Carol-Ann & I have to go out there, all alone, with something we've made. That shit is easily the most intimidating and daunting thing I think I will ever face, and that worries me greatly. I'm sure we can do it, but that is a LOT of people and a LOT of pressure. We will have to work our asses off to get it down.

I was going to play a couple acoustic Alkaline Trio songs, an acoustic Anberlin song and a couple of my own at the Music Marathon, in case you were wondering, after seeing that up there. I was going to play Sorry About That (Live acoustic version in link) and Blue In the Face by Alkaline Trio, The Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin and Torn (Raise Your Glass) and possibly Sunburns (working title - any suggestions once I get it up on here would be well appreciated) by myself. Both of the songs I wrote are capoed weird, now that I think about it - I guess I like my acoustic songs to be odd sounding. They're both sad sounding, but not overly so - they're more quiet than sad, I guess. Anyways, I'll post the lyrics up in another post in a bit, when the lyrics to Sunburns is complete. I'm starting to come around to the title, now that I've written it once or twice, though I would still like suggestions on what you think once the lyrics up.

That's all for tonight, though - I am off to sleep, for the adrenaline rush from the concert mixed with the excitement from having written the PERFECT guitar bits for Sunburns have made me a happy but tired camper. Good night, everyone.

Sleep well.

P.S: I just put labels on this post, and one of them is "Sincere & Lasting Regrets." That sounds like a wicked album title, doesn't it? Let me know what you think.

Lyrics II: Lyrics Harder (Die Hard Reference. Sorry)

Here you go, some new stuff for you. Let me know what you think, you guys. Don't be scared, now. Nothing's finished, yet, unless indicated otherwise.

The Silver Lining

I say my piece, but nobody is listening

They've all got their own demons to face

But I've got time to be there, attending

To everybody else in this place

I carried everyone on my shoulders

I’ve been standing strong and stout

But taking on their burdens has made me old

And my back has finally given out

That’s where you’ll find me

Completely unread

At the base of the hanging tree

With a shell in my head

The gun’s freshly smoking

It’s begun to rain

The silver lining

I’ll never hurt again

One last request

Throw my ash in the sea

The silver lining

Is it means something to me

Digging My Own Grave

Shovel into the flesh of the earth

We make mistakes, but we don’t learn

The hole gets deeper, I’m the first to return

& wait for our rebirth

Man’s become a monster, a sin

Everyone’s blood is on everyone’s hands

We have become, in foreign lands,

An abomination

Situation is dire, we can’t be saved

So I’m in the desert, a prelude to all

Ready to lead us into the fall

Digging my own grave

Burning Bridges

Leave your things

Dust will settle

Memories

Are left to rust

This is my island

Floating alone

Thin rope bridges

To all that I’ve known

Severing ties

Burning bridges

I’m burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I’ll burn down a world

That nobody knows

Everyone

That used to live here

Fled their homes

To escape the blaze

Streets are bare

Things are haphazardly

Strewn across

The ashen roads

It has been

A full two years

Since it last rained

My kindling’s dry

Severing ties

Burning bridges

I’m burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I’ll burn down a world

That nobody knows

Everything

Is ripe and succulent

All I need

Is a match

These last two are just MORE complete versions - they're still not done yet.

Sleep well.

Agh...

I have a supreme headache. It is a bitch. However, I said "screw it" and went to buy This Addiction in Kelowna. In case you are unaware of the majesty that is Alkaline Trio, they are a punk rock band from Chicago. They aren't what would call heavy in terms of sound, but their lyrics are definitely really heavy; they talk about some things that are judged a lot, like suicide and drug addiction, but they have a lot of love and loss songs, too (actually, those probably outweigh the others (though they do use drugs as a metaphor for love; see This Addiction)). They are also FUCKING AMAZING, and so is their new album. It's everything I expected it to be and more. Matt Skiba, Dan Andriano and Derek Grant have outdone themselves and everyone else, ever. Best album, ever (for me), hands down. The bonus tracks (which are both sung by Dan, bringing the count to Matt: 8, Dan: 5) are INCREDIBLE. A lot of bonus tracks seem to be just... afterthoughts, but these just seem to be tracks they wrote and then went, "Nah, doesn't fit the flow. Shit... make them bonus tracks. They're still great songs." Dan's voice is beautiful, to me (to compare: he sounds a lot like Elvis Costello, but unique - that's just the closest I can give you). If you're thinking about giving this album a listen, check out a song by each vocalist; they're both great in their own way, but very different (in terms of voice AND song content). My personal recommendations are Off the Map (Dan Andriano) and Lead Poisoning (Matt Skiba), just to give you a feel of the style and sound of the band, but there are variations (such as album closer, Fine, a BEAUTIFUL semi-acoustic ode to being okay with everything, even if it's not necessarily the best, and Eating Me Alive, a synth-driven anthem to your lost lover and how they lost their chance, even though you'd love to take them back). If you like those songs, you have six full albums and two b-side albums to listen to, plus the rest of This Addiction. Get to it, it's hours of music.

Anyways, yeah, headache. Screen is bright. Computer is loud. Migraine is building. Pain is to be had. Fucking ouch. just wanted to rant about how much I LOVE the new Alkaline Trio record and how they absolutely obliterated my expectations with their new, utterly perfect album.

Oh, by the way, Mariko, I posted in LOC. Also, I came up with a cool logo for this blog (or possibly my band, assuming I can get some people together and we're all cool with being called A New Eclipse). It's pretty sweet, I think - I'll try and make it on the computer and get it up sometime soon.

Night. Head hurts. Bye.

Sleep well.

Of transcendental meditation and other stuff...

I was watching an interview with Alkaline Trio, and Matt Skiba said that he recently started doing something called transcendental meditation. He said that it made him very calm and relaxed and stuff, but he also brought up an interesting point: he said that, before this new form of meditation, he thought that being in a negative frame of mind was extremely good for the creative process. Now that he had started meditating and relaxing and letting go of his anger and frustration, however, he says that he believes the opposite to be true.

I, personally, think that negative emotions translate well to the creative process, and I would go so far as to say that all of my lyrics are living proof of that, but I'm curious - what do you guys think?

In other news, I just started the music for Burning Bridges, and it's mostly a piano song. Once I get someone who is actually... you know... good at piano, I might jazz it up a bit, per se, but I'm liking it, so far. Simplicity, piano wise, but a bit complex with the guitar. Just some overdriven guitar over the piano, but it's very solo-like. Kinda jazzy. It's cool, I'll post it later on.

That's all I have to say, tonight - I'm fucking depressed.

Sleep well.

Lyrics! How exciting!

I reckon I'll start off with some of my newest stuff, because I'm into it more than my old stuff, right now. It is, for the most part, unfinished and still in progress, and I only have a rough idea for what I want to do with it, musically, but still, let me know what you think of it.

A Flawed Design

Took blueprints at face value

You didn't look to see

If the calculations were off at all

If there was something wrong with me

You thought the plans were sound

You didn't take the time

But now that you're looking into this

You won't like what you find

This is a structural weakness

This is a flawed design

This is a crack in the surface

It'll all fall down with time

All you saw was a strong foundation

But all is not as it seems

I've got my share of skeletons down in the basement

& they're ruining the support beams

Burning Bridges

Leave your things

Dust will settle

Memories

Are left to rust

This is my island

Floating alone

Thin rope bridges

To all that I've known

Severing ties

Burning bridges

I'm burning down buildings

Where nobody goes

Nameless sites

Abandoned cities

I'll burn down a world

That nobody knows

Digging My Own Grave

Shovel into the flesh of the earth

We make mistakes, but we don't learn

The hole gets deeper, I'm the first to return

& wait for our rebirth

Rainfall

You try to stop the forward motion

Cause I'm standing on the ledge

& I stare out at the ocean

As you push me off the edge

The crowds watch in horror as

I teeter on the brink

The guilt around my manacles

Ensures that I will sink

Drip, Drop, the rain falls

& so do I

Please don't try to save me from

The deep ocean's mighty teeth

I'm taking solace in

All of the jagged rocks beneath

The Violent Storm

Put my back to the wall

& see how tall

I've become

See what I'm capable of

What I've already done

If you give me no choice

I'll never play nice

Again

I'll do what I have to to win

I didn't make this begin

But the winds of change are blowing

& it's quite a violent storm

It's been tearing at me for a very long time

& I can't take it anymore

Anyways, comments would be very much appreciated. let me know what you think, yeah?

I am so tired

Who is the main guy in The Hills Have Eyes? Like, the stepbrother who starts off a pacifist but ends up jamming flags through feet and all that jazz? I can't think of who plays him, but he is a kick-ass actor. I'll remember later.

Zoe, Kyla, Jade and I worked on our poster tonight and then played Rock Band: The Beatles for a while. Fun was had by all. Our poster is awesome, and anyone who denies this fact will be beaten severely (in a purely metaphorical sense, of course). Also, according to Google Chrome's built-in spell check, Kyla's name doesn't exist. Weird, but sure, why not?

Oh my God, I'm watching Spike TV right in the middle of writing this blog post, and all of a sudden, a Slap Chop ad came on. This sounds common and not worth even an 'oh my God,' BUT IT IS! The Slap Chop guy's voice was altered with auto-tune and the whole ad was turned into a SONG with synthesisers and drums and shit. It was AMAZING. I am floored. All infomercials should do this. ALL OF THEM. I DECREE IT.

I am severely addicted to Sprite and 7Up. That's probably really bad, but I don't care. It's really, really good. I heart pop.

Goddamn, I haven't seen The Hills Have Eyes in such a long time. I love this movie so much; it's intense, it's brilliant, it's scary, it's pretty fucked up and the violence doesn't over-do it or minimize it - it's all pretty realistic. I'm always scared for Pacifist Guy, no matter how many times I see it. FOOT PUNCTURE! Oh, shit, my mistake earlier - he puts a screwdriver through a foot, and a flag through a neck. That was awesome, nevertheless.

I really want to watch Brooklyn's Finest - it looks sweet. I love cop movies like that.

Really, really, REALLY fucking sick of my mum being such a vindictive, venomous bitch - I think it's literally driving me insane. She doesn't listen to a word I say, and refuses to ever revise her own completely mistaken beliefs - I am officially done with diplomacy, politeness and trying to make her see she's wrong. I'm just going to defend myself and anyone else I have to defend and that will be the extent of it. You can't win some battles, but you shouldn't even bother with others. This is one of those.

The Road is a pretty awesome book so far, despite its supremely bleak backdrop and hopeless story. It's so beautiful but, at the same time, it's completely depressing and sad.

Good God, if my mum and sister don't stop fighting, I'm going to fucking snap. These two are starting to drive me absolutely insane, and if mum doesn't get off my back and Nicole's, I'm going to go somewhere else, because this is just too much. No one - NO ONE - should have to deal with this shit, ever.

I'm gonna do another post with some lyrics in it, just so I don't have to go back and forth between music and yelling and music and excitement and music and complaining, so just wait a couple seconds and I'll throw a couple examples of my stuff out there.

Aaron Stanford. I looked it up. The Hills Have Eyes guy's name is Aaron Stanford. I am vaguely satisfied, though still stressed as fuck.

If anyone has a way to make me feel better, that would be sweet.

Sleep well.

Welcome

Hey, all, how're we doing? Good? Excellent. This'll mostly just be songs (though I guess technically it's poetry until I post the music, eh), stories and possibly me yelling about things (or going really, really quiet about things, depending on what it is and how serious I'm being). Anyways, just figured I'd get a preliminary post up here before I go sleep, because goddamn am I ever tired. It's late, as I'm sure you can see by the post's timestamp, and I have had a stressful day full of me making more mistakes. Mistakes are not fun, let me tell you. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that they are the absolute OPPOSITE of fun, especially in this case. I'm not going to whine about it on here, because not only do you guys most likely not care, but, quite frankly, it's stuff I have to deal with myself, and sharing it would only make things worse/much harder to fix, so... sorry. Maybe other stuff, in the future.

Real quick disclaimer, even though I most likely know everyone reading this; anything I post on this blog legally belongs to me, be it lyrics, actual music, tableture or even just rants. I'm just being careful, is all, folks. No need to worry. I mean, I won't totally lose my shit if you take my stuff. Not at all. Just a friendly threat... errr... warning.

Oh, yeah, disclaimer number 2: I swear. It's the way I talk, so it's the way I write. If you have a severe problem with it... well, this is the internet. There's really nothing you can do about it. Besides, there's more important shit to worry about out there than a couple vulgar words.

Started a couple new songs, tonight, lyrically: A Flawed Design, Digging My Own Grave, and Rainfall. I'll put those up in a bit, I guess, but I'm too tired now.

I have a couple writing projects in development, right now, and I dunno which to work on, right now. I have one which is essentially an extremely unconventional futuristic romance/adventure, one about amnesia and searching for one's true self called Splinter, & a currently untitled Mass Effect fan fiction. Any input on what you guys would most like to see would be cool.

So... music. Good year for music. Lots of new stuff on its way. Especially excited for the new Sum 41 record, the (possible? I'm not sure when it's supposed to come out) new Rise Against record, the new Gaslight Anthem record and (of course) the new blink182 record. Also the new Alkaline Trio record, but I'm talking about that in a second. New Story of the Year album, The Constant, came out on the... 16th, if I'm not mistaken, and it's pretty good. Nothing new, but everything I like about the band is there, so I can't complain. Also, this Tuesday, Alkaline Trio's seventh studio album, This Addiction (which I am super fucking excited for) comes out, and I have to wait until Saturday to get it, because I pre-ordered the super-extra-mega-happy-fun edition from HMV in Kelowna. I am a stupid asshole, sometimes. Still, though, it's a return to form for the boys, and, though I LOVED Agony & Irony just as much as their last efforts, I'm completely up for a straight-up punk record. I have faith in the Trio - don't let me down, Matt, Dan and Derek.

Uhm... hm. Shit. What else to say? Uh... Norton Anti-Virus is practically a virus itself, and whoever designed its constant "RENEW NOW NOW NOW" pop-ups needs a good, solid kick in the head, because it is the shittiest customer service application I have ever seen.

OH! I saw Shutter island with Zoe and Vanessa, yesterday (today? I don't even know what time it is. Yeah, yesterday's right) and it was AWESOME. Not that I expected anything less; my mind was more than satisfactorily blown, and it was the best movie I've seen in a long time. Seriously, if you get the chance to see it, do so - you won't be disappointed. Dennis Lehane (Gone Baby Gone) wrote the story, and he expects you to have a brain in your head; he will confuse the hell out of you, and you have to think about everything, all the time, which is the way a movie should be. It doesn't lead you by the hand because, quite frankly, not even the characters know what the hell is happening. It is one wild ride with an amazing twist that NO ONE SHOULD RUIN FOR ANYONE, EVER, and I highly recommend it.

Uh... think that's it, for this evening. Night. Morning. Whatever. Mariko or Jennie, if you read this, I promise to post in Lords of Creation real quick like, once I get homework done (which is a lot, and could take a while). Sorry for the delay.

Anyways, I'm off to sleep, because I'm starting to sleep twitch and am so tired that I can't think of anything else to say. I know! Me! with nothing to say! Preposterous, I agree.

Good night, whoever's out there in TV-Land, reading this.

Sleep well.